


A False Sense of (In)security

by driftingskies237



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Bullying, Gen, Insecurity, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter is smart, School is hard, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2018-03-28
Packaged: 2019-04-14 07:18:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14130951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/driftingskies237/pseuds/driftingskies237
Summary: “I can’t believe you know all of that!” Uncle Ben smiles as a young Peter rambles to his Uncle on the way to the Expo. “You’re a really smart kid, Peter.”Younger him blushes, “Sure, Uncle Ben.”“You really are. I wouldn’t lie to you,” He promises.Peter’s not sure what his Uncle would say about him now.





	A False Sense of (In)security

Peter always used to have confidence in his intelligence. When he was younger, his grades were always straight A’s to the point where his teachers had him skip a grade. Going to Midtown, however, is a lot different. It’s a school where everyone who attends had to earn their way in based on their academics. Everyone around Peter is just as smart as him, some even smarter. It was intimidating, at first, but Peter soon got used to the fact that there were people smarter than him. Tony Stark changed everything.

Meeting Mr. Stark and actually getting to know him was one of the most intimidating things Peter ever faced. After all, the man is a certified genius. Any time Mr. Stark brings up anything about science, Peter tries to change the topic. He doesn't want Mr. Stark to know how Peter actually isn’t very smart at all compared to him. Still, as long as he avoids intellectual conversations with the man and focuses on Spider-Man, it’s okay. But there’s a tipping point.

Peter’s cover is as an SI intern. First of all, Peter knows he’s not at that level of smarts, as does Flash. This results in an endless amount of teasing. Flash has always been one to try to outsmart Peter. Typically, he wouldn’t come close, but with Peter focusing more on his Spider-Man duties than ever before and focusing less on his studies, Flash has finally closed the gap. If it were any other student, it wouldn’t bother Peter one bit. But of course it had to be Flash.

“Holy shit, I got a better score than Penis Parker!” Flash cries out one day after they get their physics test back.

Peter’s face flushes in shame. He’s right. Peter’s score is a whole 8 points lower than Flash’s score. Not only that, but it’s one of Peter’s worst test scores he’s gotten in the class. Typically, Peter would chock it up to him lacking on his studying, but it’s been happening in classes he’s been studying for, too. His grades are slipping while Flash’s grades are rising. Peter swallows the lump in his throat.

“It’s just one score, Flash,” Ned answers for him. His best friend his amazing.

“But now my grades are higher” Flash responds. “I’ve been beating out Peter on tests in almost every class. It makes sense that I should take my rightful spot at the top.”

“That won’t ever happen because you’re an idiot,” Ned mumbles under his breath. Flash growls at him and grabs onto Ned’s shirt menacingly.

At the sight of his friend being threatened, Peter joins in the conversation, “Knock if off, Flash. Leave him alone.”

Flash reluctantly relinquishes his hold and turns toward Peter. “Jealous much? You know, with your grades, I don’t even know why Stark hired you. I’m obviously smarter. Even your boyfriend Ned is smarter than you. Honestly, Penis, maybe you’re just giving him favors.”

“Shut up!” Ned defends.

“Mr. Thompson, Mr. Leeds, stop arguing in this classroom or I’ll give you both detention,” The teacher warns from the front of the room. Before anything else can happen, the bell rings. Flash smirks at Peter before heading to his next class. Peter silently packs his things.

Ned frowns, the worry obvious on his face as they walk out of the classroom. “Peter, you know Flash is wrong. You’re super smart.”

Peter fidgets with his backpack strap. “No, he’s right. My grades are so much worse than they used to be and his are better.”

“That just because of Spi-I mean, you know who,” Ned whispers as a group of people pass by them. “You’re just not able to study as much.”

“That’s what I used to think, but I studied really hard for that physics test, like just as hard as I used to before you know what happened. Flash is right, I’m just not smart. Not like everyone else here.”

“Peter-” Ned begins, but Peter can’t handle any pleasantries right now. He heads to his next class with his head down. Before parting ways, Ned tries to console Peter again but he shrugs him off.

All Peter has to do is make it through the rest of the day, and then he can go home. Still, he can’t help but let the harmful thoughts invade his mind. Flash technically was right about everything. After all, his internship is just a cover up. Peter would never be able to get hired for an internship at SI for real. If it wasn’t for Peter screwing up and doing stupid stuff as Spider-Man, Mr. Stark never would have met him. His smarts never would have gotten him any farther in life. After all, they can’t afford college even with scholarships. Peter knows he’d never get a scholarship good enough to his dream schools.

“Mr. Parker?” The teacher asks. Peter blushes, noticing the stares of his classmates. She points to a problem on the board.

He stutters, “I-I don’t, I’m not sure.”

She frowns, “I’m disappointed, Mr. Parker. You should be able to answer questions like this in your sleep.”

And Peter knows she didn’t mean it as an insult to his intellect, but he can’t help the insecurity bubbling up in the forefront of his mind. Luckily, she focuses her gaze on some other student as Peter goes into his head. He shakes his leg twice as fast as usual and squeezes his hands in his lap.

By his final period, Peter can barely handle everything. He feels like everyone is staring at him. What makes it worse is that Flash is in his last class, and of course Flash doesn’t like to forget things. The minute Peter walks into class Flash greets him as rudely as usual.

“Parker! Ready to get your ass whooped on the test today?”

Shit. Peter forgot about the test. The subject is Spanish, though, which he knows he’s almost fluent in. At least, he was before. Now, however, when the teacher passes out the test, Peter’s mind goes blank. The words all jumble together, and Peter’s hand shakes while he holds the pencil. Across the aisle, Ned shoots a concerned glance at him.

Peter takes in a deep breath and looks away from his paper, trying to focus, but that’s his mistake. Flash catches his eye and and mouths out the word idiot before going back to his test. Peter looks back at his test, feeling even more overwhelmed than before. Tears form in his eyes, and he hastily contains them. He can’t cry, not over something like this.

The bell doesn’t ring soon enough. Ned, being the great friend that he is, noticed Peter’s bad mood back in class and attempted to soothe him, but Peter didn’t want to start crying, especially in front of his best friend.

Finally, though, Peter can go home. He’s ready to hurry back and hide in his room for the rest of the night, but unfortunately he sees a familiar car ready to pick him up in front of the school. Peter knows he can’t ignore it, but hopes he can make up some lame excuse. He opens the car door.

“What are you doing here?” He asks Happy.

“Don’t ask me. Boss said to bring you upstate,” He responds uninterested.

“I can’t today, I have-”

“No you don’t. Tony made sure everything was cleared and okay. Now get in.”

Peter really doesn’t want to, but he also knows Mr. Stark will directly hunt him down if he doesn’t come. With any luck, it will just be a quick upgrade to the suit before he’s sent on his way. He hesitantly climbs in. For once, Peter is grateful that Happy puts up the divider.

A few tears drip from his eyes as he curls in on himself again. On the ride over, he thinks of his Uncle Ben. He remembers when they went to Stark Expo together after Peter begged them for weeks. Finally, Uncle Ben caved in and they went together. His Uncle thought Peter had a future in science.

“I can’t believe you know all of that!” Uncle Ben smiles as a young Peter rambles to his Uncle on the way to the Expo. “You’re a really smart kid, Peter.”

Younger him blushes, “Sure, Uncle Ben.”

“You are, kid, I wouldn’t lie to you,” He promises.

Peter thinks back to himself long before the bite when he was a bright eyed, energetic child. Any chance to learn he would take, whether it be reading, school, or a camp. The passion he had for learning, especially in science, fueled him constantly. He dreamed of being an inventor as great as Tony Stark one day.

He was naive. He still is. A passion is nothing without an intellect to keep it alive. He feels detached from that curious, lively child he once was.

Peter’s not sure what his Uncle would say about him now.

* * *

 

“Hey, kid. Ready to work on some updates?” Mr. Stark asks.

Peter stutters, forcing words out of his mouth, “You...don’t you usually do the updates?”

“I figured you need to practice doing them since I won’t be here forever. Not that I’m old. That’s not what I meant when I said that. I’m hip, young, all that jazz.”

Typically, Peter would have a witty comeback for that, but he simply stays silent and still. Mr. Stark notices but doesn’t say anything, figuring he’s just tired or something.

Mr. Stark motions Peter forward, who starts to move on legs that don’t feel like his own. He wishes they would run out in the opposite direction. He glances down at the suit’s long line of codes and his head thrums angrily.

_He can’t do this._

Mr. Stark will finally realize the truth if he does. The truth that Peter isn’t a genius at all, that he’s not even of above average intelligence. That he’ll never be as smart as Mr. Stark wants or needs him to be. A wave of dizziness overtakes Peter and he stumbles a bit.

“Woah, kid, you good?” Mr. Stark questions.

Peter feels heavy. “I can’t-I can’t do this Mr. Stark.” He feels his face heating up which makes him even more embarrassed.

Suddenly, Mr. Stark appears right in front of him, looking almost worried. “Hey, come sit down before you fall down. He’s led over to a sofa which he practically falls into. Peter doesn’t realize that he’s clenching his fists until Mr. Stark forcefully pries them apart to reveal bleeding nail marks in his skin.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” Mr. Stark says. But Peter can’t tell him, he can’t deal with the embarrassment of admitting that he’s a failure to his mentor.

“A failure?” Mr. Stark asks unsurely. Oh, Peter said that outloud. He must be farther away than he thought. Quickly, he looks away from Mr. Stark, who is perched at the other end of the couch. A second later, a calloused hand grasps his shoulder.

“I don’t know why you think you’re a failure, but you’re not,” Mr. Stark begins. “I’ve told you before, you’ll be a better superhero-”

Peter can’t handle it anymore. “That’s not it! Spider-Man has nothing to do with this.”

Now Mr. Stark looks puzzled, a look rarely seen on him. Peter’s outburst has made his emotions leak from their container, as well, and he tries to stifle a sob in the long sleeves of his hoodie. Obviously, it doesn’t work, as Mr. Stark seems even more worried now.

“Shit, I suck at this. I didn’t mean to…” He trails off for a second in thought. “Tell me what’s wrong, Peter. Please.” The sincerity in his voice makes Peter break. Peter needs to get it over with and tell him so he can handle the rejection easier.

Wordlessly, Peter fumbles through his backpack and pulls out his test with the grade on top from today. He basically throws it at Mr. Stark, then looks away immediately as not to see the disappointment on his face.

“A test grade? You’re upset about this test grade?” Mr. Stark asks. “Peter, and 85 isn’t anything to get upset about. It’s a really great score.”

Peter whines in frustration. He doesn’t get it. “It’s not just that one grade. It’s every class. My grades are dropping. Even Flash has been getting higher grades than me,” Peter tries to explain.

“But Peter, you know that’s just because of how much time you’ve been focusing on Spider-Man,” Mr. Stark answers logically. Peter grits his teeth.

“That’s what I assumed, too! But this test I studied really hard for, I didn’t even go out as Spider-Man that night. I got a good amount of sleep. I did everything right! With that amount of studying, my grades are more than ten points higher usually. But now, I can’t seem to get much higher than that.”

“Those aren’t bad grades, kid. You’re just in a bit of a slump.”

Peter feels tears falling down his face again and wipes them away harshly. “It’s more complicated than that. Before I was Spider-Man, I was just Peter Parker, and the only thing that Peter Parker was good at was being the nerd who excelled in every class. Right before I got bitten, I got accepted to Midtown on a great scholarship. And I knew I wasn’t going to always be the smartest, especially in such an advanced school. That doesn’t bother me. What really bothers me is my personally best keeps slipping no matter how hard I’m studying and trying to succeed. It feels like the only thing I have left that really matters is Spider-Man.”

Peter’s voice has gone thick with tears and mucus at that point. Explaining it out loud was harder than he thought without sounding like some goody two shoes. Mr. Stark is silent for a minute before he moves forward. At first, Peter thinks he’s moving to leave, disgusted with the way Peter is acting, but then he feels himself being pulled into a hug.

“Peter, you matter,” Mr. Stark promises. “You matter to me and your Aunt and all of your friends.”

“But without Spider-Man, we never would’ve met,” Peter argues, pulling back from the hug. He feels his eyes still stinging from his initial onslaught of tears.

“You’re probably right. But I could’ve just left you to do your own thing on the streets as Spider-Man after giving you the suit. Do you know why I didn’t?”

“Because I’m just a kid.”

“Yes, that’s part of it of course. But I never had to invite you upstate to work on your suit like this. I never had to even have you come here. But I wanted you to because once I got to know who that spiderling was underneath the mask, I came to really appreciate him. Because unlike superheroes such as Iron Man, there’s so much more to you than your powers. You’re smart, Peter, you’re so smart. I wouldn’t have wanted you to learn how to work on your suit if you weren’t, but I know you can. You’re brave, you’re reckless, and you’re persistent. You also care way too much about other people.”

“Then why do I keep failing at everything? I fail at school and as Spider-Man.”

“Yes, you make mistakes, but that’s what makes you human. That’s why the people of New York relate to you, because you’re just Peter Parker. And as for school, I promise you’re just in a slump. I can even help you study if you want.”

“You would?” Peter sniffles.

“Yeah, why not? It sounds way better than going to a bunch of lame meetings. Now come on, bring it in kid.”

Peter latches back onto Mr. Stark tightly, burying his face into the expensive fabric on his shoulder. Mr. Stark wraps his own arms around Peter, rubbing his back gently. When they finally separate, Peter smiles slightly at Mr. Stark.

“Thank you.”

“Sure thing, kid. Just promise this won’t turn into a regular basis thing. My heart can’t handle all the mushy stuff,” Mr. Stark jokes, patting Peter on the back. “Now, physics first?”

The two of them work together on the problems. Peter is hesitant at first, but soon falls back into his rhythm just like Mr. Stark said he would.

“That’s right,” Mr. Stark agrees, “And that was really fast. You didn’t even need the conversion?”

Peter blushes, shaking his head no.

“Damn, kid. I told you that you were smart, and you just proved me right.”

Peter likes to think that Uncle Ben would be proud of what plain old Peter Parker has accomplished.  


**Author's Note:**

> I was originally planning to do a 5 + 1 thing but I got so inspired by this one and went overboard. Who knows, maybe I'll add onto this in the future. Thanks for reading :) Please leave a comment if you enjoyed!


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